Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Last Shot

Watch the video

On June 13, 2006 - I injected my last shot of testosterone. It was 50% of my normal dosage. I had been weaning for a few weeks prior. 2 shots at 75% then 2 at 50%.

I'm mostly relieved that I am done shooting myself with needles. This weekend I was a bit moody and I think that it might have been in part due to withdrawal from hormones. Being on T was a really emotionally even experience and now that I am done - I wonder if I will find myself experiencing more of the emotional spectrum soon.

I also wonder when my period will start again.

In other news, I made white pepper creme brulee tonight.


Jen said...

Amazing post. I was very moved. Thanks for sharing this.

Paul Knight said...

Lukas, I am so sorry, I thought you was a bloke, seriously, I thought you were a gay man. I had no idea. Now I am moved to almost tears as I recall I spoke to you for about 30 seconds a Vloggercon, I could have learned much more from you. Serves me right, I guess, for going round with my eyes closed. That and not reading or viewing blogs or vlogs that are of interest.

Thanks for sharing.

Big slap on the wrists for me though!

rob parrish said...

I second Jen, that was very moving and riveting as well.

miss intensity said...

I'm so glad you made this vlog.

I love the discussion it opens up.

(u r awesome)


Mary Beth said...

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I second Miss Intensity - you ARE awesome.

Mom said...

Finally uploaded the software to wath your blogs and this was the first one we watched. Sal and I both cried. It was very moving and beautifully made. Looking forward to watching earlier ones. Love you.

Ana said...

hey Lukas, I miss working with you. miss hopey too. I like how she is just sitting on your bed kind of not really interested in what is going on. just being hopey.

I'll keep watching...

Anthony said...

This is a very powerful video. The topic, the way you combined image, text,and silence and more. But I can't help think that I can only understand but a tiny piece of all this. This moment and what led up to it must be so much more powerful for you.
I just want to say thank you for sharing so freely and openly. Thank you.

Killer B said...

Hey Lukas,

Congratulations! So excited for you! You know I'm thrilled that you've shared this, and I'm using your inspiration quite a bit with my thesis. It's such a great statement about your strength as a woman and as a person to have gone through this and all that must have come with it, most of which I'm sure I cannot begin to imagine. Thanks for being so open and awesome. I am so thrilled to have chatted with you and hope to more in the future.

My best,

Koan said...

Powerful video - thank you for sharing it. I guess it puts my own experiences into focus - as a trans woman, hormones and surgery have brought peace and fulfilment to what used to be the battlefield of my soul. For me, it was right to go "all the way", and it's been a good outcome. If your journey has enabled you to find peace with yourself - that, too, is a good outcome. I hope you'll keep vlogging.

Glad to see you like the icon, too! ;-)

schmutzie said...

This covered a lot of emotional ground for me. It's pacing and simplicity lent it an amazing amount of impact. Thank you, and good luck.

Miss K said...

Thanks for posting this powerful piece. In terms of form and content, it made a huge impression. For me also, it had a lot of personal resonance as it echoes decisions I've made myself in my past.

Thanks again

defiant goddess said...

I admire anyone who will do what it takes to live their own truth.

Blessings to you.

missbhavens said...

This was a fablulous and moving post--and you did wonders with silence.